Contrary to popular belief, depression is NOT sadness. It is emptiness. It is a complete absence of butterflies. Of passion. Of curiosity. Of hope.
We cannot feel anger. We cannot feel joy. There is no fear. No happiness. Regardless of the professional position we hold, the money we make, the home we own, or the love shown by our families or friends, depression will not let us feel the pride, excitement, or anticipation that the rest of the world says we should. The emptiness shrouds every word we try to speak and every act we try to make like a black hole determined to absorb the slightest sense of accomplishment from our days.
We are called lazy, yet we are working a hundred times harder than you just to get out of bed in the morning. After all, there’s nothing for us out there. We are told to cheer up, as if we are capable of feeling cheerful. We are reminded of all the positive things in our lives, but we haven’t forgotten them. It’s depression…not amnesia. And when we become too weak, too empty, too devoid of feeling to try to do it all again tomorrow, we may look for our way out.